I have bad news. The internet in our office still hasn’t been fixed and the payment that was missing has in fact not been processed. I spent hours, if not days, combing through records to try and find this payment. I agonised over finding the payment to the point where I couldn’t sleep, where I felt like my eyes were on fire after looking at a screen for too long. It was painful both physically and mentally. And to come to the realisation that the payment was truly never processed, after all that, nearly broke me. Add the fact that our office internet connection is the worst it could have been and I’m surprised I’m still standing here today.

I am triggered just thinking about this whole situation. I am a ball of chaotic energy and I am nervously chewing away at my fingernails at the thought of telling my boss what I’ve found. Or, I guess more accurately, haven’t found. I know he’s not going to take the news well and that I will likely be fired as a result. As I said in my last blog, it’s probably a smarter option for me to just quit rather than me being fired in disgrace in front of the whole company. 

I wonder if I’ll even get to see a data cabling technician who services Melbourne businesses come and fix the internet. Of course, as soon as I get fired, the cabling technician will waltz right through the door and fix the internet connection that has been driving me crazy for the last few months. That’s just the way it is. Pretty much the story of my life.

Okay, here goes. I am going to go and tell my boss about the missing payment and then resign. I won’t be charged for the payment myself as these things happen, but I will never be able to step foot in this office again.