I’ve been wondering if I should branch out and become a real marriage celebrant, rather than just a pet one. My parents always told me that conducting pet weddings and giving pet marriage counselling didn’t count as a real job. For the most part, I ignored them. I’ve been making a fine living with my little niche, and I do love it. But the other day I went to the hardware store and I saw this couple. They just looked so in love, so perfect together. It made me feel like maybe I should be celebrating that too, you know?

It’s not every day you go to a hardware store within Bayside and have an epiphany, but that day I did have one. How hard could it be to expand my business to include human weddings too? After all, humans are animals as well—just not pets. But tigers aren’t pets either, and I’ve married a few of those in my time.

But that’s how gorgeous this couple was together. They made me want to change up my entire business! They were just having so much fun, smashing glass in the back of this hardware shop. I can only assume they had arranged it with the store because the employees were totally fine with it. The lovely couple was laughing together, jumping up and down and having a great time. It just looked like so much fun. I think I’ll get plumbing supplies around Cheltenham more often if that’s how happy the people are there.

If I do start offering human weddings, I’ll probably need to change my website a bit, though. Oh, I’m sure people will understand if they see all the animals on it. It probably doesn’t need to be rebranded. Hopefully, my clients will just see the dogs and assume I love animals (which I obviously do), and therefore I’m the right person to help with their wedding. It’s going to be so much fun!