I’ll admit it: the thing that worries me most at this, the very start of my career, is meeting clients. Not because my clients are scary, or anything! All the people I’ve met thus far who wanted their pets to be wed in holy matrimony have been the loveliest, most stable people you’ll ever meet. No, I just… I suppose I get a bit nervous that they won’t think I’ll be good enough. As a celebrant, I mean. This is a very solemn event they’re asking me to officiate, one that only comes about through intentional choice. The binding of two animals together in love for the rest of their lives! I’m being asked to give counsel! How could I not feel the pressure?

I just… I just need a better bathroom! It sounds silly, but I was up late last night researching the very best bathroom renovation businesses Melbourne has to offer. I’m new, I’m self-conscious, and when clients come to my house to discuss their pet’s marriage or counselling needs, I would hate to think they’re put off by something as minor as a drab colour scheme in my bathroom.

Well, they think. If this young lady can’t even get proper bathroom renovations, how can I expect her to officiate the wedding of my two snakes? And just like that, they’re in the wind.

I suppose I wanted the bathroom renovated anyway. Then there’s the kitchen… I’ve been thinking about getting a designer in for weeks now. Oh, and obviously I need to look around for a laundry renovations company. Melbourne people are detail freaks, you know. Nothing can be left to chance!

As I’ve said, I know it sounds silly, but you’d understand if you’re a business owner genuinely trying to build up a client base and a reputation. It’s a tough game and a crowded market. You get all antsy about silly things, like if your half-empty bottle of hand soap makes you seem unprofessional.