Many people don’t realise that orchestrating pet weddings is a multi-disciplinary pursuit. It goes beyond consulting, event planning and logistical execution, and even beyond the oft-requested coaching and counselling as the betrothed couple approaches their big day. My professional know-how is often required to extend into some extremely unexpected fields, and every day yields new surprises, depending on what’s needed. I consider myself to be in a position of service, and I’m up for any challenge. 

This week, the challenge in question is arranging for a client’s nuptials to take place on a fishing vessel. Let me say that, while I value and respect all my clients, working with cats can be difficult at the best of times. They’re prone to changing their minds is all I’m saying. Try containing them on a smallish boat and add the smell of fish into the equation, and you have yourself a recipe for a complete fiasco – that is, if things aren’t properly managed. It’s my job to ensure that they are.

It just so happens that I have a few contacts in the marine welding business, and my hope is that one of them can hook me up with a barge that looks fishing oriented, but hasn’t actually been used for that purpose. I realise that the client wants the vessel to smell like fish, but some situations call for a white lie, and this is one of them. I’m paid for my professional expertise, and this is precisely that in action. 

Besides, as long as there are a few snapper racks in place, no one needs to be any the wiser. It’s not like the whole marina won’t smell like fish anyway – it’s a fishing wharf, after all. But as long as the wedding party and guests are confined to this one non-fishy barge, mayhem should theoretically be kept to a minimum. 

That’s half the job, you know – ensuring that things don’t spiral out of control, as they can all too easily do where weddings are concerned, not to mention apex predators.