My housemates are literally at war with each other. Every morning I wake up to the sound of one of my housemates screaming at the other. It’s pretty exhausting if I’m being honest. Especially because I don’t care about what they’re fighting about either – I don’t shower, you see.
I’m a blokes-bloke, and I don’t want to smell like soap and flowers every day. Women like the smell of a real man. I know that for a fact.
So anyway, when I hear them yelling at each other over a clogged shower, I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs and telling them that I can single-handedly do a sewer replacement. Melbourne drain contractors are not needed in this case. As I said, I’m a bloke. Real blokes can do plumbing quite easily. It’s a bit of a cop-out to think that we have to get a plumber to pull out my housemate’s hair from the drain. I’ll open up the drain and stick my hand down it myself. If it’s too hard to fix, I’ll replace the whole thing – simple as that.
Another thing about being a real man is that I don’t get involved in other peoples’ affairs. It’s not my problem. I don’t want to be dragged into it and have to share my ‘feelings’ on the situation. The only thing I feel is anger that people in our generation are too weak to deal with their own blocked drains. Close to Essendon, everyone has gone soft. I know that’s not something I’m ‘supposed’ to say anymore, but a fact’s a fact – champ.
Anyway, my alarm isn’t set to go off for another hour. It’s Saturday and I want to sleep in. I get up when I want, go to the pub with the boys and get home Sunday night. I don’t get involved in stupid housemate drama. Bye for now.